As soon as Bioshock Infinite brought in the gateways to other dimensions or timelines or whatever I knew I was really in for some severe mental punishment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, constants and variables, all that good stuff. Frankly there’s too much to talk about and I may or may not be too lazy to talk about it. Time and the multiverse and paradoxes are a tough thing to dive into mentally. Call me a fool and you may be right but I’m a fool with more time on his hands that weren’t spent sorting through paradoxical questions than you. Kidding, you know I love you. Maybe.
I had no idea what I was in for. The whole reveal about the multiverses and such felt like kind of a slap in the face to me what with how abrupt all of these revelations are coming at you and maybe I’m just not patient enough to sift through it all but I honestly didn’t love the ending. Bioshock Infinite was a solid game, save for the lack of big daddies and the severely lacking shotgun reload sound effects, but the ending just left a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe it’s just frustrating that the developers basically circumvented any criticism of the game relating to plot by manufacturing the “oh it’s just the goofy wacky old multiverse, classic multiverse behavior” excuse. Everything can be explained if you bend over backwards enough but I just don’t love that. The farthest I’m willing to go with time travel is that one Wizards of Waverly Place movie (which was, with nostalgia goggles fully activated, amazing and flawless).
My personal feelings aside, there is quite a bit to talk about, which works in Bioshock Infinite’s favor. What the hell actually is Songbird? Beats me. Why do Comstock and Booker not sound or look the same? Couldn’t tell you. Someone probably has the answer to these questions that isn’t me but I guess that’s what makes discussing the game interesting. It took me an embarrassingly long time to put together the connection between the baptism Booker is forced to get when he first enters Columbia and the baptism that essentially defines Comstock from Booker but that’s neither here nor there. My original theory was that Booker was actually just dead the whole game and he actually died in that entry baptism but clearly my prophecy viewing machines weren’t quite working yet at that point.
Bioshock Infinite is a nice response to the criticism of the originals. Lots to talk about. But there’s one massive criticism that the developers failed to account for…
No pettable animals? What the hell, 2K?
I give this game zero puppy dog pats out of ten, very disappointing.
As for the whole game I give it, uh… seven eaten random bags of peanuts off the street out of ten. By the power of video game.