GSR Final

The Jump

Growing up, I was an adventurer and always found great joy in exploring the unknown. I explored to learn more about the world and see how in the end, mother nature will always prevail as mankind is at her mercy. 

This idea of nature always seeming to triumph fascinated me at a young age and I always sought to get out of my comfort zone and do things that got my adrenaline flowing. It was a hot, humid July day in the summer of 2015 and me along with two other friends thought of the perfect idea; find a place to go cliff jumping. 

We always found joy in finding spots to adventure, especially places where we could swim and have total freedom. We asked one of our close friends if he knew of any places nearby we could go cliff jumping and he knew the best, most secluded place where we wouldn’t find trouble with anyone. 

He told us of a place about an hour west of Leesburg, Virginia, the place I lived at the time, and gave us a pinpoint on google maps where the spot should be. Me and my two other friends Hunter and George embarked on this journey and found ourselves in the middle of nowhere off a country road deep in rural West Virginia. 

We followed the pinpoint on the map to a massive abandoned quarry filled with sky blue water. This place was like a dream, it was perfect. A long rectangular shaped quarry that was about 100 feet across and a quarter mile in length. 

We then saw across the water a towering cliff that we estimated was about 60 to 70 feet in height. At first glance, I was so intimidated I contemplated even attempting to jump but I knew I came here for a reason and was overcome with the need for adrenaline. Soon we jumped in the water and swam down to check the depth, finding ourselves about 20 feet deep with no bottom in sight, we concluded the jump was safe… enough. 

Next, we had to actually get to the top of the cliff and that was a vast challenge in itself as it was nearly completely vertical. However, through some quick thinking as well as trial and error we found a way to the top. 

Let me tell you, the view from the top of the water was the most nerve racking thing I have ever experienced. Heights have always been a bit of a challenge for me to face but this was something I’d never come close to experiencing; I had no way down other than jumping in the water. 

The only thing we miscalculated was the fact that the last ten feet of the cliff side nearest the water began to jutt out and any mistake would surely be our last. But, I swallowed my pride and began to breathe slowly preparing myself for the jump. I was the first one to the top and that meant I was the first one to go off.

 I asked my two buddies to count down slowly, five, four, three, two, one. Once they hit one I hesitated for a slight second then everything in my mind stopped as I leaped out. It seemed like an eternity on the trip down, then boom. I hit the water unscathed, and yelled with triumph and exhilaration. 

This experience brought me so much adrenaline that I had no choice but to do it again, and shortly there after I did. All in all, I was able to see how at mercy I was with nature and how with courage and bravery I would experience my own personal triumph, conquering mother nature.

 

GSR Poem

Why am I

Flags from left to right: Lesbian, Pride, Bisexual, Transgender, Pansexual. VLAW759, 2020.

I sit upon this bed
In this room that I call mine
I dwell inside this house
But it’s not home, and I’m not fine

I found a sense of purpose
Beyond inhabiting this world
It began with the acceptance
That I’m not quite boy or girl

At first it brought such happiness
I found my desired energy
The friends I’ve made are lifelong
And continue to inspire me

But unfortunately acceptance
Is more than just my pronouns
It’s internal, and it’s external
And leaves me hopeless; unbounded

But these feelings are tempoary
And my future is uncertain
However, with Coronavirus
I’m afraid that things will worsen

Just months ago I was thriving
Growing with each passing day
I started therapy, once again
And opportunties came my way

For once, I wasn’t a failure
At least from my own perspective
But as this pandemic continues
It reveals things this world has neglected

The systems that were created
To serve this Earth’s people
Are quite faulty in nature
Corrupted men create this evil

Unfortunately for anyone
Who is not Caucasian
Will receive quite unfair treatment
In this supposedly great nation

Unfortunately for anyone
Who is not heterosexual
Will go through great pains
To embrace who they truly love

Unfortunately for anyone
Who happens to be transgender
Has gotten their protections removed
In the name of “family standards”

To some, it’s an overstated story
They say we have equality
To me, it’s my everyday
I have no other reality

As COVID-19 continues
Those most vulnerable will suffer
I’ll try to help the most I can
But conditions will get rougher

This won’t just end tomorrow
Though Trump makes it out to be
How about for once in life
We deal with this disease

No, not Coronavirus
(Some of us) are doing all we can
It’s capitalism I’m talking about
That’s truly killing Man

Is it really worth any amount
To sacrifice human life
For the sake of the economy
Think about that more than twice

The systems put in place
Are only there to serve the rich
Without corporations, there’s community
Please, just picture this

We seem to have forgotten
How we dealt with those who wronged us
No, we didn’t need police
We looked to those around us

We gave our all to our families
Our friends, and our communities
We can still do that in this world
But that doesn’t help society

This world is not accepting
Of its peoples’ different natures
Bodies, skin colors, even genders
These things still separate us

You can try to make some changes
Help some people out
But at the end of every single day
The Patriarchy tears us down

I suppose I should say “It tries to tear”
For some of us rise above
We live our truths, no matter the cost
True bravery comes from love

GSR Final

College Life

 

We enter it with caution –

A double dose of fear.

No time to stop and wonder,

Just how we made it here.

 

The work is all consuming –

Some parties on the side –

The pressures always mounting,

A future to decide. 

 

Spring break is what you live for –

A time to decompress.

The struggle just to get there,

A week without the stress.

 

Professors and roommates,

Are sure to make you mad,

But then before you know it,

You are the newest grad.

 

Well that is now the old way –

Some changes are in place.

Corona’s taken over             

No longer face-to-face.

 

College was the safe place,

Secure from day to day.

This world is kind of scary,

On second thoughts at home I’ll stay.

GSR Submission

https://youtu.be/y3Rxi_zwxnM

Princess

Elizabeth ran around her house, or as she liked to call it, her castle. Weaving in between the different rooms and exploring for hidden treasure, Elizabeth, with an ever-present smile on her face, was set on having a good day. Her laugh echoed through her kingdom as she marched through the halls. Her head tilted proudly upwards like she’d seen all the kings do in her cartoons. She was dressed in her royal attire with her ruby cape and a luxurious golden crown on her head. When she walked into her father’s office, she greeted him as any 6-year-old royal would. 

“Bow peasant.”  She folded her arms and looked at her father with an unwavering gaze. Her lips pressed together into a thin line as she attempted to stop herself from smiling. Her father turned slightly in his office chair to look at her. He merely raised an eyebrow at her as he paused in his work. His fingers still hovering over the keyboard. His eyes, a similar shade of brown as her own, held a hint of amusement as he noticed the long red blanket and burger king crown she wore.

“Gasp. My own daughter dares speak to her king that way.” He placed a hand on his chest as if she had somehow wounded him, which was ridiculous. If she was going to attack him, she would have gone for the legs.

“You are not the king. I am, and as king, I need a throne.” Her finger pointed towards the office chair as if to provide a clarification for the simple peasant. The office chair was the perfect throne. She loved to spin in it, and even though whenever she sat in it, her feet never touched the ground, she still managed to feel mature and powerful.

“Well,” he said slowly as he rose from her soon to be throne, “then where am I going to sit?”

She shrugged her shoulders as she looked up at him. “The floor.” She walked towards the chair and stopped in front of her father, waiting patiently for him to move. 

“There is just one thing though,” he looked thoughtful with one hand stroking his beard like she had seen all those old wizards on TV do before they said something wise, so she paid close attention to what her father had to say next. “In order to gain the throne, you must defeat the tickle monster.” She paled at his words. The dreaded tickle monster was one of her greatest foes. She looked up at her once father and knew what she had to do. She discarded her long ruby cape and made a run for it. Unfortunately for her, her legs were short, and in a few seconds, the tickle monster caught her in its grasp. It was merciless.

She couldn’t stop laughing and there were tears in her eyes. The tickle monster tickled her sides, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. She heard the demonic laugh of the tickle monster as she was tortured.

“Alright! I have been defeated.” She managed to wheeze out and look up at the tickle monster, her father. Despite her defeat, there was a smile on her face. She took off her crown and placed it on top of her father’s head. His smile was warm and gentle as he bent his head down so she could place the crown on him.

“As king, my first decree,” he picked her up and slowly walked back to his office, “is to share my throne with the princess of this kingdom.” He placed her on the office chair as she beamed at him. He placed the crown she had just given him back on her head and handed back her discarded cape. “Your highness.” He said with a small bow and a smile on his lips. Elizabeth smiled at him from her throne. It was good to be the princess. 

 

If I Could

Smith, Essence. November, 2019.

I visit this coffee shop a lot. The building never changes, but the people do. Every year or so new college-bound students come here in search of a job and a new beginning. To start fresh and meet new people. 

When I first came here, I had my new beginning. But my new beginning quickly became my end. I’m stuck here, and I don’t have the energy to leave. My friends have all left after they graduated to pursue their dreams, and I’m still here.

I met him on our first day of an overseas trip. A group of twenty students, current and graduated, including me were taking a plane to Europe where we would explore Germany, Italy, and Switzerland for ten days. He walked up to me as we were waiting to board our plane, and I could barely hold a conversation with the bubble of anxiety strangling my thoughts.

I would say we hit it off immediately, but that isn’t true.

Back then, I’d say my mental health was the worst it ever was. Standing in the middle of the airport in a T-shirt and sweatpants, my backpack over my shoulders and my hands strangling my phone, fingers mindlessly scrolling to keep myself busy. Strangers bustled around me in every direction, the only thing I could focus on as I struggled to breathe through my anxiousness. This was the longest I would have been away from home at the time, and being surrounded by people I didn’t know sent my social anxiety at an all time high. And then he came.

As I was fiddling with my phone for the fiftieth time, I paid no attention to movement in my peripheral vision until he began talking, his voice deep and curious, starting off with “So…” I glanced up, hardly processing who was in front of me; looking, but not seeing as he asked if I had ever been on a plane before. I told him not since I was eight, and he asked to see my plane ticket.

Such a creative way to learn my name.

Gesturing with his hands, he described where my seat would be and I smiled in gratitude, too anxious to talk with the lump in my throat, and the shuffling of my feet that couldn’t stand still. He asked about my name, and I told him it was from a show. An unexpected laugh that was rich and smooth sounded from him, mixing in with the chatter around us, and yet very distinct. He said his name probably came from a baby book, and all I did was smile tensely. The anxiety I felt prevented me from seeing the obvious cue to ask what his name was, so it remained a mystery for days.

Now, I wring my hands together, taking deep breaths to calm the crushing feeling in my chest. The anticipation is building as I sit in the same place where we had talked many times before. It’s been three years since then, after we had failed to say goodbye as he walked out of the airport to see his mom, and as I stood by mine. We had each other’s numbers, and throughout those years we kept contact on and off, as often as my moods bounced between horribly anxious and feeling content. He was tired of my fickleness, and I was tired of being misunderstood. We haven’t spoken since then.

 Until I texted him yesterday.

The sound of a bell rang through the air, a sign that the door opened. I stiffened in response, waiting to see if it was him as I stared down at the lukewarm espresso in front of me. The stool across from me moved slightly as he sat down, and I immediately felt nauseous at the thought of the conversation we had to have.

Anxiety washed over my body as I pursed my lips. His hands appeared on the table, fingers lacing together. I started to remember how his dark, rough skin glided across my tan, smooth hands. How we held them as we walked across Venice together. 

That day we had driven there from our hotel in Switzerland early in the morning, days had passed after we had first met. A little less after he sat next to me on the bus after someone sat in his seat. Even less after he first held my hand under my blanket that we shared. I had begun to look forward to our talks about nothing and everything. But that morning he wasn’t in a great mood, and after he sat next to me there was silence. I plugged my earphones in and my walls built stronger around me.

After the bus ride we went to a glass-blowing building, where we watched demonstrations and gazed at sculptures in their displays. He had tried to talk to me a few times, and I responded with a small, polite small smile and kept walking. It was then that I really felt alone, because I had turned him into my safety net over the course of the trip. Without him, I was just me. Anxious and lonely. 

I didn’t really speak until we got to roam around the city after our chaperone let us go. He had grabbed my hand and pulled me with him, persistent in getting through the barrier I built around myself. I remember we went to a museum and rode in a Gondola, traveling in the blazing heat filled with crowds of tourists talking and taking pictures. 

Smith, Essence. July, 2017.

I remember how I sat on a low stone wall in the shade where he stood between my legs, the same hands resting beside either of my thighs before we left the city back to our hotel. Those same hands that caressed me face at sunset, sitting in front of a bonfire before he kissed me. Dark, brown eyes lit up by the fire behind us filled with warmth and adoration.

Smith, Essence. July, 2017.

I remember how I pushed him away for years when I wanted to be alone. And now we’re here.

I slowly looked up at him, to see that he’s already looking at me. A black jacket encased his arms over a light grey shirt, full lips pulled into a tight line, nose wide and slightly flared, dark eyes staring back at me. No anger, no regret, no contempt. His eyes were filled with love and hurt, and I hated myself for causing the latter.

“Thank you for meeting me.”

He nodded.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I just – I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

“For?”

His pained, deep voice sent shudders down my spine. Tears formed in my eyes as I remembered how we stayed up on the phone at night talking, how we would steal glances at each other when we were near, how his infectious laugh made me fall in love with him.

How it was all about to end.

“Everything,” I spoke. I took a sip of my cold, black coffee to soothe my painfully dry throat before I looked back into his brown eyes. “I was terrible to you; pushing you away because I couldn’t trust you, pulling you back in when I thought I was okay. I’m sorry for never opening up to you; for never telling you how much I loved you.” I cast my gaze down toward the table, fiddling with my nails.

A moment passed before his hand reached out and held mine. “You know I hate that,” he said with the tiniest bit of amusement. I gave him a small, forced smile and he moved his hands away and asked “Why did you leave?”

I let out a sigh at the expected question. “I didn’t want to.” He waited for me as I gathered my thoughts.

“Ever since middle school, I’ve been kind of…emotionally compromised, I guess you could say. I’ve always been bullied when I was younger – by my own friends too – and when I was finally fed up with it I held everyone at a distance. Hell, I was going to, you know, in seventh grade and all my mom said was ‘You think you’d go to Heaven if you did that?’ Typical Black-Parent Syndrome. All I felt since then was pure defeat. The only person I’ve ever had as a constant in my life was me, and I learned to cope with the endless anxiety and loneliness, I guess. And I felt – feel – like I have no one. I couldn’t – I can’t trust anybody.” I drank more coffee to push down the enormous bubble floating in my chest.

Before I continued, he cut me off. “I tried so hard to get you to trust me – to trust someone after all you’ve been through-”

“You can’t fix me,” I whispered. “You can’t save everyone,” he shook his head, about to reject the idea but I continued, “you have this hero complex. You’ve been trying to fix me, you tried to fix your last girlfriend before she cheated on you – multiple times, you tried to fix the relationship with your Mom who never really bothered to give you the time of day.” The faintest outline of a tear rolled down his cheek before he wiped it away quickly. “You’re trying to fix your best friend who was assaulted months ago, even though he hasn’t talked to you since then. You can’t fix anyone unless they want to fix themselves.”

A troubled breath left his lips and I sniffed in response. “You have such a kind and generous heart, but that will be your downfall if you don’t put yourself first.”

“Is this what you brought me here for?”

I smiled ruefully. “No, that’s not why I brought you here.” I glanced around the small café, taking in the sweet and bitter smell of coffee and the sound of the silent chatter as I gathered my thoughts. “I just – I feel so alone all the time. Anything and everything makes me so anxious that sometimes I can’t even breathe and most days I don’t even want to. I stopped talking to my friends because I know it’s draining being around me, and they’ve even said it themselves. They don’t and they will never understand me, no matter how many times I explain to them how my mind works. Either that or they just don’t care. So I stopped opening up to people because no one will ever care or understand or care to understand me-”

“All I’ve ever done is care to understand you.”

I held back a sob as I responded, voice watery with emotion. “I know that now. You are, by far, the kindest, most thoughtful person I’ve ever met. And even though it was fleeting, I did – I do – trust you. I never want you to think that I didn’t. I don’t want you to think that I never loved you either, because I always will.” He reached out to hold my hand and I let him. My chest tightened unbearably and threatened to suffocate me. “I knew you loved me and I took advantage of that, and I am so sorry.”

He wiped a tear that fell from my eye. “I will always love you, too. You deserve so much more than what you got; you deserve to be happy, and I’m sorry I couldn’t give that to you.”

I shook my head. “You did, even when we weren’t together.” I breathed out. “Whenever I pushed you away, I threw myself into work to try and ignore everything and everyone, which obviously isn’t healthy. So I decided to take your advice and start going to therapy. But I think we should both try to move on. You deserve more than what I can give right now.”

The corner of his lips quirked up a little, his hand still on my cheek. “Is that a ‘one day’?”

Biting back a sad laugh, I said, “It’s maybe one day. If, somehow, we meet again in the future, and we’re both in better places, maybe we can try again.” He stands up and I follow as he immediately reaches for a hug. We stand there for a while, breathing each other in one last time before we part ways. Once he pulled back, he planted a light kiss on my cheek before he reached in his pocket, took out a five-dollar bill and placed it on the table. Knowing what I’m about to say, he sends me a look before I start talking. An easy, grateful smile stretches across my face as he starts to leave.

“See you.”

“See you,” I called back to him.

The bell rang again as he walked out the door, and I felt myself drowning.

The Deterioration (GSR final submission)

Sitting in a fort of blankets and pillows, Zuri was reading a book. During those times, it helped to escape reality to stay sane, though one couldn’t afford to escape for too long. It wasn’t safe.

Zuri’s friend, Nova, trudged over, interrupting Zuri’s flow. “Somebody came here to see you. . .” Nova pointed behind her, to the door.

“Girl, what?” Zuri strained to hear her amidst all the noise in the shipping container. She and the other bionics were on the run and in isolation, dodging scrappers.

Nova bent down, her purple hair falling onto her face, contrasting well with her brown skin. “Some dude is here to see you, Z.”

Zuri furrowed her eyebrows, sliding her bookmark in between the pages of the novel then stood up and started for the door. “Who?”

“Girl, I have no idea. Myles is standing guard and he said some dude rolled up in an old truck and asked for you.” Nova shrugged.

“That’s weird. . .” The two friends began the trek to the door, stepping over other refugees’ bags, blankets, and pillows.

“Mhmm. You want me to come witchu?”

“Nah, I’m good.” A pang of bravery struck her. Zuri was curious.

“You sure, Z?”

“Yeah, yeah . . . I’m good.”

“Okay,” Nova sounded unsure in her friend, but she branched off to a few others playing some card game in the corner.

Zuri reached the end of the container and pushed open the door. Myles—muscular and unwavering—stood outside, eying the man. Zuri followed his gaze and their eyes magnetically connected. How the fu—? she thought.

“You know dis guy?” Myles asked her, gawking at the mysterious man.
He seemed familiar—felt familiar. Déjà vu washed over Zuri, but she wasn’t sure where or how she knew him. . . Perhaps a dream. . . I’ve definitely seen him before. . . I think.

“Yeah,” Zuri said reluctantly.

Myles didn’t question her as he began patrolling their surroundings. They couldn’t be too careful in those dilapidated and barren areas. Desperation will make people do crazy things there.

Zuri sensed the man was older than her—way older. By like 20 years, she guessed. But the energy that passed between them—the unusual attraction—suggested that age wasn’t a factor. Age didn’t scare either away.

After all, he found her. Zuri didn’t know how, but he did. This man’s blind faith scared her . . . but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t intrigue her as well. She yearned to know more about him, but she knew to be cautious, for someone this ambitious was dangerous. Ambition could get you killed.

After all, he did find her and she knew—only instinctively—of his existence, but nothing more. She never knew of anyone this committed, this determined. He must’ve used all his resources to find her. This mission, one of pilgrimage proportions, was odd—unusual, but again, piqued her interest, one she didn’t know she had until now.

This scared Zuri. She needed to be careful. She needn’t fall under any trance to overlook this behavior. This was beyond weird.

He parted his mouth to speak, but no words flowed out. She stood speechless, too, the air around her was choked out by mystery man’s overwhelming presence. He didn’t appear powerful, of affluence, but his presence was strong like rich cologne. He was tall, wearing a yellow corduroy jacket, cargo pants, and boots. An everyman. A grey beanie fit snug on his head as plaits sprouted underneath. His face was square-shaped and he sported an unfinished beard, but it was his eyes that really caught her attention. His eyes were piercing—intense, seeing past her soul if that was possible.

Moments passed as they both assessed each other’s person and soon he decided to take careful steps towards her. His stride exuded certainty, something she wished she possessed in that moment.

Once in front of her, she noticed that the steady rise and fall of their breaths fell in tandem. It was unusual to be this in sync with someone she didn’t really know. Although her heart didn’t quicken, her mind zoomed with a thousand thoughts, ransacking her memory bank of any possible recollection of this man. It frightened her how comfortable she was around him.

She searched the depths of his light eyes and found nothing but confidence. He knew who she was.

“Come ‘ere,” he gently commanded. His voice was gruff yet smooth.
He brushed past her and she turned around, finding him walking towards the shipping container fashioned as a bathroom. Mystery man pushed down on the door’s rusty lever until it budged open. He gestured for her to walk through first as he held the door open.

Zuri flicked the light switch on, nearly blinded by the white interior. The container had stalls with portable toilets, a mirror, and a long counter with hand sanitizer stations. Running water was scarce during The Deterioration. It seemed like only the rich people who could afford the bionic parts had access to running water.

He pushed the door closed, the sudden sound startling her, then she swiveled around to face him. Before he could speak, she interjected, “DTV?”
He stared at Zuri then nodded. She wasn’t sure how she knew that, but she just did.

“How’d you find me?”

DTV stepped closer to her, rolling up the sleeve covering his right arm. He flexed his muscles and a holographic downward arrow appeared in the crease of his elbow. He tapped it and a keypad appeared, prompting him to enter his PIN. Most people would turn away when entering their code, but not him. A list of commands materialized, and he tapped the first entry. “My link already had your PIN in it.” He turned his arm so Zuri could see.

“But how? We’ve been running and have been in isolation for weeks. The connections aren’t stable enough to receive information out here—let alone someone else’s codes.”

He typed his PIN on his keypad, flexed his arm, and rolled his jacket sleeve down before shrugging his shoulders.

She started pacing. “What’s your full name?”

“Daven Tobias Vaughn. DTV,” he answered immediately, standing with his feet shoulder-width apart.

She nodded. “I’m guessing you already know mine, huh?” Skeptical, Zuri crossed her arms over her chest.

Daven carefully walked over to her. “Zuri Kaleela Mercer.”

He stared at her and uncrossed her arms. She stared back, offended and uncertain. Silence overtook them. Then, in a swift motion, he gripped her thighs and lifted her onto the counter. Her hands planted on his broad shoulders, breathing hitched as they held simmering eye contact. Then their lips smashed into each other, an unexplainable passion exploded—an intensity neither could explain. They gripped and groped one another, their lips and tongues intertwined as they sucked in the same hot air. Want turned into necessity. His hand slipped up her shirt, grazing the slit of her USB po—

“Aye! Unlock this muhfucka! I gotta pee!” Zuri recognized that voice as her friend, Tavian.

Zuri pushed Daven off of her and hopped off the counter. She ushered him into a stall and turned around to adjust her clothes before opening the door.

“Hey,” she chirped.

“Hey nothing. The fuck you got this door locked for?” He didn’t let her answer before he brushed past her, beelining for one of the stalls to relieve himself.

Zuri left the shipping container and waited on the side for Daven. She saw Tavian leave and enter their temporary living quarters then Daven emerged from the container moments later. He circled the corner to find her posted up on the wall. A smile spread on both of their faces as they continued where they left off: his hands on her waist and her arms cradling his face.
But abruptly, he stopped.

“What?” Zuri asked, concerned.

His head hung low. “They’re coming after you—all of you.”

“Who?”

“Those rich, fat fucks.”

Zuri let her arms fall off of his body and Daven stepped back. With several feet between them now, they searched each other’s eyes. “You’re a scrapper, aren’t you?” She asked with the conviction of an oracle.

Daven simply nodded.

Zuri’s face hardened. “So, what’s this?” She motioned between them, referencing their unusual attraction.

“I ‘on’t know.”

“Are you gonna kill me?” she asked with eyes as thin as blades.

“No,” he answered definitively. If his voice had a foot, he put his foot down.

“Originally, I was supposed to—you know, for your parts. But this,” he gestured between them, “is too strong. Honestly, it would’ve felt wrong to complete the job.”

“Sooo—,”

“So, I came to warn you all. They’re coming—others like me are coming, other scrappers.”

Zuri seized her head, pacing again. “Shit!” she hissed. “We should run, huh?”

“I ‘on’t know any other options.” He shrugged.

She side-eyed him. “Why should I trust you?”

Daven smiled. He knew she was going to ask. “Because you know me.”

“How do I know you?” He began to walk towards her, Zuri retreated until her back hit the cold metal of the shipping container.

“I ‘on’t know.” Daven brushed her hair out of her face.

“You ‘on’t know nothin’!” They both laughed. “But this is crazy.”

“I know,” a low chuckle tumbled out of his mouth, “but I rather not question the Divine.”

“There is no Divine,” she mocked him. “Only divine wealth,” she stared off at nothing in particular, the weight of their situation finally settling on her, “and from what you said, they’re trying to kill us. I mean I knew that, but damn. There’s more? It’s that bad out there, huh?”

Crestfallen, Daven nodded and said, “You have what they desperately need and they’re willin’ to do whatever it takes to survive. They’re not used to that, Zuri.” She finds another spot to stare at behind Daven. He tipped her chin up to make her look at him. “But we are. We know how to survive. We’re going to fight this thing and we’re gonna be okay.”

His words were confident like everything else about him, but Zuri couldn’t afford that level of certainty. “I ‘on’t know.” She shook her head and crossed her arms.

Daven smiled. “Trust me.”

Zuri immediately gazed up at him, finding solace and comfort in his familiar eyes. “I do.”

 

What Day Is It?

Allen, Shiana. Isolation. September 17, 2019. Stevenson University.

What Day Is It? By Shiana Allen

Sunday,

it’s the start of the week.

The last “peaceful” day

before the storm hits.

Make sure to complete

last minute assignments.

 

Monday,

only one class today.                                           do I technically have a class today?

Early morning PT sessions                                       No early mornings anymore.

with fellow Stevenson’s cadets.                             No PT with the Stang Gang.

Breakfast in Rockland with the                            Check the long list of emails for

football team taking all the food.                             homework for the week.

 

Tuesday,

2 classes back to back.                                                   no 2 classes back to back.

No time for breakfast,                                               Make a smoothie for breakfast,

but time for lunch after class.                                   and eat leftovers for lunch.

Afternoon nap with long                                            Lots of distractions in a home

hours of studying into the night.                            that makes it hard to “learn”.

 

Wednesday,

also known as hump day.                                        no longer feels like hump day.

Waking up early for a PT test                                     I will myself to go outside

with butterflies in my stomach.                        to maintain my fitness for ROTC.

Sleep off the stress                                                  The days seem to mesh together.

until it’s time for my 2 classes.                           I don’t even know what day it is.

 

Thursday,

the most hectic day.                                                   no longer am I running round.

5 am 6 mile ruck march                                                     At home workouts

with no time for breakfast after.                  aren’t as easy as they make it seem.

An 8 am and 11 am at SU                                          Make yourself presentable

then rush to JHU for ROTC lecture.               for the ROTC Zoom lecture at 1:30.

 

It’s Friday,

the happiest day of the week.                                    just feels like any other day.

Go to Rockland for breakfast.                                 It’s hard to be productive when

Wash clothes and clean the room.                    your email is constantly dinging.

Drive to UMBC for ROTC lab                                     How can I be a good student

to learn tactics and leadership skills.                 when school feels like a choice?

 

Saturday,

finally able to sleep in.                                                all I do is sleep in.

Do I want to stay in                                                     I can’t play the Sims because

and play the Sims?                                                     I can’t afford to slack off.

Or do I want to go out and have fun?                 We longer can leave the house.

The possibilities are endless.                            We have to keep social distancing.

 

Sunday,

once again,

it’s the start of the week.

The last “peaceful” day

before the storm hits.

The cycle continues.

 

Let Me

Griggs, Lauryn. April, 2019.

 

Let Me

Let me place eggshells beneath your feet.

Let me give you little room to speak.

Let me claim I care –

Let me never be there.

 

Let me drain, but never replenish.

Let me begin, but never finish.

Let me swear, but never do –

Let me protect, and hurt you too. 

 

But it’s okay.

I’m family right?

GSR Submission

Pixar continues “Onward” with its latest installment 

By: Cari Rusk

Barley and Ian with the Manticore from Onward
Disney/Pixar

Fantasy and reality collide in Disney/Pixar’s latest installment, Onward. Directed by Dan Scanlon, the film is set in a fantasy suburb where magic has faded due to advancements of technology. Pixies are unable to fly, unicorns dig through trash, and the once fearless Manticore is now the owner of a family-friendly restaurant. Two elf brothers named Ian and Barley Lightfoot discover that there is still a little magic left in the world, so they embark on a quest to bring back their deceased Dad for one last day together. Scanlon’s second go at directing a Disney/Pixar film was an epic success, as he addressed tough themes while keeping a light-hearted and humorous narrative.   

Superstars Tom Holland and Chris Pratt lend their voices to bring to life Ian and Barley. Holland creates a believable character in the wimpy, self-conscious Ian and transforms him into a confident and likeable hero, while Pratt conveys Barley as the comic relief and screw-up throughout the majority of the movie. Perhaps most importantly, the characters’ voices do not reflect any of Holland’s or Pratt’s previous roles. They create separate identities from their extremely popular Marvel characters.

With comedy and adventure in the forefront, it’s amazing to analyze how dark and upsetting the themes of this film are. A once magical world full of magical creatures has now become a world exactly like our own. The creatures have adapted to the advancements of technology and have evolved around these crutches. Instead of flying around, pixies use motorcycles for transportation, as their wings are seemingly useless. This evolution is a call-out to humanity’s own reliance on technology. Perhaps our world was once filled with magic, but we have since long forgotten it because of our own advancements.

Another theme of the film is loss and death. The plot of the movie is upsetting, as they are attempting to bring back their deceased father, who died of cancer before Ian was born. As they go on this adventure to bring back the rest of their Dad (their first attempt at the spell only brought back his legs) there is frustration from Ian, as he thinks Barley is screwing up his chances to meet the father he has longed for. In the end, Ian gives up his chances to meet his father, and lets Barley say goodbye to him one last time. 

These are heavy themes for an animated movie with children as a target audience, but that is what makes Disney/Pixar movies stand out from the rest. The similar topic of loss was heavily addressed in the 2017 Disney-Pixar film CoCo, which won several awards including an academy award and a golden globe. The combination of real-world themes, stunning animation, and lovable characters are the recipe for a Disney-Pixar success. Onward and Scanlon continue this legacy as a lovable and teachable film for all.

Photo Source:

Disney/Pixar. Onward. 2019. IMDb, www.imdb.com/title/tt7146812/mediaviewer/rm797149953.

 

 

COVID-19 took a piece of me

COVID-19 Took a Piece of Me

Confusion.  Traumatized.  Devastation.  Anger.  Depression.  Disbelief.  Lost.  All of these words are things that are constantly running through my head.

Is my family going to be okay?  Will I get to see my friends soon?  Will someone I know get COVID-19 and not survive it?  If I get COIVD-19 will I survive it?  Why my senior year?  Why did lacrosse get taken away from me?  These are all questions that I constantly ask myself.

In the beginning of March, word started to spread about the corona virus entering the United States.  There were mild precautions that people could take to avoid getting it; not sharing drinks, Chapstick, food, constantly washing your hands, keeping a distance from people.  These were all things that could be easily done to flatten the curve.  Little did I know that that wouldn’t be enough.

March 13th, what I thought would be one of the worst days of my life.  The day that I found out my senior season of lacrosse would be put on hold, but to be completely cancelled three days later.

I was sadly mistaken, March 15th is when a part of my died.  To most people that sounds dramatic, but to me something that I had dedicated my life to for 15 years has disappeared into thin air.

Lacrosse was my outlet in life for everything.  If I was upset, I played lacrosse, happy, played lacrosse, mad, played lacrosse, confused, played lacrosse.  Lacrosse was always the answer to my emotions.  Not only because it was a great way to let out those emotions, but because I also had a team that I could always turn to when I needed them, they were my second family.

Over the years I’ve been on several teams, all great girls, great coaches, and great memories, but nothing will compare to my college team.  This team has been through it, all the good, the bad, the happy, and the sad.  One of the toughest things that this team has been through is the abrupt separation we faced from COVID-19.

We got the news right before we were supposed to leave for spring break, for myself and fellow seniors, this would be the last college

spring break we would have.  This would be the last time that we all got to travel together and make memories that would last a life time.

This was supposed to be the best year of my college career, my senior season of lacrosse, my last year with my roommates that I have been with since freshman year, these were the times to make memories before we all walked across the stage together.  But no, that was not the case anymore.

We were all sent home, for our safety of course, but that’s not how I felt about it.

COVID-19 ruined my life, or a part of it.  For the first two weeks of being home I was constantly upset, found myself crying at random times throughout the day, and isolating myself from my family.

I never thought that this was the way my senior year was going to go, and at first, I refused to accept it, but had a “coming to Jesus” moment and realized that I was being selfish.  I realized that I was lucky to be healthy and alive.  I also realized that there are first responders working hard every day to help flatten the curve, working 12+ hour shifts, and wish they were at home lying in bed like I am doing while writing this paper.

COVID-19 has devastated me to an emotional level that I don’t think I can recover from anytime soon, but there are some people that will sadly die from COVID-19, and that is a tragedy that I hope to never experience.

Although COVID-19 has put in wrench in my senior year of college, it thankfully hasn’t put a wrench in my family or friends, it has allowed me to realize that the “little things” in life are bigger than I think, it has allowed to realize the importance of family time, it has allowed me to take a step back from social media, it has allowed me to self-reflect, it has allowed me to not be selfish.

So, although I would like to curse COVID-19, and I want to go back to my college life, and lacrosse, COIVD has actually done some good.  It has helped replenish the earth and helped bring families and friends closer together.

The feelings I have about school and lacrosse haven’t disappeared, and they won’t go away over night, but there are things in my life now that have taken priority over those things.  I am still able to complete my classes, so I can obtain my degree, I am still able to connect with my friends on FaceTime, and I have more time with my family then I did while I was in school.

As crazy as this sounds, I would like to thank COVID-19.  Thank you for giving things that I started to subconsciously take for granted.  Thank you for helping me bring light to such a dark time.  Thank you COVID-19.